The wisdom of a stray dog
by Wakisashi Girl
Summary: Against all odds. Everyone has to grow up one day. The epilogue published. No sequel intended! ByakuyaxRenji. Please, review, the feedback is essential.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** _Yaoi_. This story is a bitter one. I wrote it after watching the ninety-fifth episode of "Bleach". Enough said that this particular episode seems to show Byakuya's true nature, me thinks.

**Characters: **Renji, thinking about his captain. Mentions of Kuchiki x Abarai.

**Summary:** When someone you gave your heart to does not believe in such things as unconditional love, the relationship may strain your patience, forcing you to read your beloved's mind... Forget about tender words and confessions – you'll never hear either of them. It is forbidden to utter any of your own as well.

**Rating: **PG-13/R

**Disclaimer: **BLEACH is not mine. This story is just a fan fiction.

**Music:** _If Not Now_ Tracy Chapman

**Dedication:** to all Tracy Chapman's music admirers.

**THE WISDOM OF A STRAY DOG**

_**You can wait 'til morning comes **_

_**You can wait for the new day **_

_**You can wait and lose this heart **_

_**You can wait and soon be sorry**_

You order me to come to your bedroom every night. You give me the orders to touch you, to hold you in my arms whenever you feel abandoned, humiliated or simply cold. You force me to sleep beside you, to provide you warmth and safety, to talk to you, to eat breakfast with you when the morning comes.

Your steel grey eyes are expressionless, your hands stiff and icy cold. While your lips remain sealed and no word is breaking the silence in your bedroom when I'm holding you tight (but not too tight, because you don't want to loose control), your normally dangerous _reiatsu_ is talking to me. It speaks the words I need to hear to understand you and all your thoughts, decisions and anger.

I know your heart is filled with anger. You accuse yourself of being weak and careless, just because you feel better when I'm near you. Because it is easier for you to breathe and to live with me than without me. So you keep on pretending...

Pretending not to need anyone, pretending to be stronger than everybody else, pretending to have no feelings. Pretending to be completely independent, to have no relationships. You are a great pretender, a noble one and almost flawless. But I, the infamous stray dog, a faithful mongrel of his master's, know better.

You carry a heavy burden on your strong shoulders: all duties and obligations related to being a captain, a burden of being the clan leader. All you do is following the lines other people drew to keep you inside the golden cage.

Pleasure has no meaning within your world. Even what I call "us" (but only in my mind, never aloud) - you refuse to accept. But I know better.

You cling on to me when you think I'm asleep. You kiss me as if you needed it to live. I can hear your silent tears running down your cheeks when the night falls and we lay on the futon together.

And when we are making love, you savour every moment of it, and you get yourself drunk with passion, slowly approaching a hangover and remorse that'll inevitably come after we're done.

You treat me both like someone who keeps you alive and as someone who makes you feel ashamed of your own needs, of being emotional enough to long for the warm embrace and understanding. You keep telling yourself that it is the last time, you promise yourself not to do it again.

You try to kill me, to forget about me, to hurt me, to humiliate me so I would either disappear or leave you all by yourself.

I will survive. I won't leave you. I'll bear all of your attacks, tear down all the walls you have built between us.

One day you'll ask me why have I decided to stay by your side.

My reply will be straightforward and simple: "Because I love you enough".

_**If not now what then **_

_**We all must live our lives **_

_**Always feeling **_

_**Always thinking **_

_**The moment has arrived**_


	2. The Heart of the King of Spades

**Author's Note:** _Yaoi_. This story is a bitter one. I wrote it after watching the ninety-fifth and ninety-sixth episode of "Bleach". Enough said that those particular episodes seem to show Byakuya's true nature, me thinks. British spelling, grammar and vocabulary, as usual.

**Characters: **Byakuya and Renji – the latter trying to gain something important for their relationship.

**Summary:** There are times when you are so confused and helpless, that you don't know what to do, what to say or how to behave. In other words, you know you should contradict yourself, but you don't know how to do it.

**Rating: **R/NC-17

**Disclaimer: **BLEACH is not mine. This story is just a fan fiction.

**Music:** _Baby Can I Hold You Tonight_ Tracy Chapman (wisdom is bliss, isn't it?)

**Dedication:** to all Tracy Chapman's music admirers.

**THE HEART OF THE KING OF SPADES**

"Not so tight, Renji. Be gentler, if you please" Byakuya's voice was deceivingly calm and emotionless, while his eyes reflected a silent command meant to control his subordinate's actions and gestures. To emphasise the inadequacy of Abarai's behaviour, Kuchiki withdrew himself a little from Renji's embrace.

But Renji was pissed tonight, his vision blurry from sake and the heart overly courageous. So he pulled his taichou closer, murmuring 'Belt up, ye dimwit' and kissed Byakuya's porcelain neck and shoulders without permission, without hesitation, relentlessly and hungrily, leaving a small love bite slightly below the hairline behind Byakuya's left ear. Suddenly, the length of the present moment seemed to be entirely in the gift of Renji's. Byakuya realised his whole body was trembling, left at Abarai's tender mercies. Renji was like a virtuoso playing the Stradivarius violin, being both gentle and eager, sophisticated and simple, inquisitive and knowledgeable, experimenting considerably and showing a certain amount of routine.

Brushing the silky, black fringe off the alabaster forehead, Renji kissed the delicate skin barely covering light blue veins on Byakuya's temples, slowly moving warm lips down the cheekbone and running his fingertips along the perfect jaw line, reaching for black-haired man's chin only to stroke it tenderly, so lightly as if he were a wind.

"Abarai-_fukutaichou_..." Byakuya attempted to protest, but Renji cut him off with a rough, hard kiss.

"Talk to me, _taichou_... Don't give me those silly orders or any commands, talk to me. Stop feeding your dog crap, try givin' him some good food instead..." Renji's breath was warm, smelling strongly of alcohol, auburn eyes filled with determination and, undoubtedly, hope.

**Sorry **

**Is all that you can't say **

**Years gone by and still **

**Words don't come easily **

**Like sorry like sorry**

"Abarai-_fukutaichou_, you are under a strong influence of alcohol you have consumed before coming here. Leave my house this instant!" Byakuya replied.

The anger glittering in his steel grey eyes would normally force Renji in submission, but tonight everything had been different, for Abarai laughed a drunken, heavy, sarcastic laugh and ignored his captain's words completely. Clutching his palms on Byakuya's wrists, so strongly as if his hands were a vice, the magenta haired man mumbled something intelligible and pulled Kuchiki on to the futon, untying the _obiage_ which bound the _taichou's_ dove grey silk yukata and pushing the expensive, delicate material away hastily.

"Talk to me..." he whispered in his dark, drunken voice, "Talk to me, touch me the way you truly want to, _taichou_... You don't have to feel ashamed – jus' be free and easy with me, Kuchiki-_sama_... Listen to yer heart for a while, jus' once... Stop contradictin' yersel', everyone needs someone by their side, no one wants to be lonely..."

Byakuya turned his head in order not to look his vice captain in the eyes and tried to push Renji away, attempting to wriggle his wrists out of Abarai's iron grasp.

"Doesn't matter if ye use Senbonsakura on me, Kuchiki-_sama_. I'm not afraid of ye, so don't stamp yer boot expectin' the world to do yer biddin'. Ye shouldnae push me away, 'cause I'm nae dolly in yer dolly hoose, ye ken!" Renji's voice was deafeningly loud. The unrestrained _fukutaichou_, intoxicated with sake and his own despair, had apparently reached his limit of patience and compromise.

**I love you **

**Is all that you can't say **

**Years gone by and still **

**Words don't come easily **

**Like I love you I love you**

_If I'll reject him, I might commit hara-kiri as well... But considering how many times have I regretted accepting his touches and even longing for his closeness... And yet... Was it truly my own regret or have I been merely following the lines which tradition and law drew for me to go along? But if I cannot obey the law, who shall obey? Does the law count that much for me? What do I really need?_

**But you can say baby **

**Baby can I hold you tonight **

**Maybe if I told you the right words **

**At the right time you'd be mine**

Explanatory notes

Belt up – shut up

Fringe – in American English: bangs


	3. The Runaway

**Author's Note:** _Yaoi_, a bitter one. British spelling and vocabulary, as usual. Definitely not the last chapter – I have planned two more. Please, tell me whether you like this story up until now or not – I'll be very grateful for all the feedback, that is. Had to change the rating due to the descriptions – I could not resist them.

**Characters/Pairings: **Byakuya x Renji, Rukia, Unohana Retsu x Zaraki Kenpachi

**Summary:** WAFF? Me jus' still disnae ken how long you lot will have to wait for something like that in this story. As for now, Byakuya is confused, and this confusion leads to making wrong choices.

**Word count:** 1349 (oh!)

**Rating: **Decisively NC**-**17, but without violence or blood.

**Disclaimer: **BLEACH is not mine. This story is just a fan fiction.

**Music:** "_I Am a Rock_" Simon & Garfunkel; _"Love is Blindness"_ U2;"_Rush" _Paula Abdul; _"Separate Lives"_ Phil Collins

**Dedication:** For Lena and for all people who wish for more than just a happy ending stories. Bless ye all, geezers and ladies!

**Motto: **_I wandered lonely as a cloud/That floats on high o'er vales and hills_ – William Wordsworth "**The Inward Eye"**

**THE RUNAWAY**

"**I am a rock,**

**I am an island.**

**I've built walls,**

**A fortress deep and mighty,**

**That none may penetrate."**

'_And yet... Was it truly my own regret or have I been merely following the lines which tradition and law drew for me to go along? But if I cannot obey the law, who shall obey? What do I really need?'_

Some small string (or maybe was it a neuron or synapse, it was too difficult to differ between them right now) snapped within Kuchiki heir's soul, making it even more hard for him to concentrate. He tried in vain to find the right way to respond...

"Alright, Renji. I shall do what you request." Byakuya said simply, hardly believing his own words.

The drunken, arrogant grin on Renji's face turned into a loving, warm, considerate smile, the auburn gaze softened noticeably.

"Oi, _taichou_, finally. Talk to me, touch me, look at me – please..." Abarai was almost begging on his knees, something very unusual, considering Renji's competitive and courageous ego.

Byakuya, promising silently to himself that it would but be just a quick glance, looked at the redhead and momentarily lost all rational thoughts. Leaning towards Renji, he wrapped his arm around Abarai's waist and pulled his subordinate up, kissing him hungrily and less and less deliberately. Taking the linen haori off Renji's shoulders, he touched the tattooed, silky smooth skin, beneath which life had been pulsating so strongly, radiating it's warmth and energy into Abarai's reiatsu that currently surrounded Byakuya like a sunglow, making it possible for the wounds to heal, for memory to forget the pain and sadness of the soul to disappear. He took Renji's palms in his, placing soft, delicate kisses on the inner side of them, and then on the wrists, in the place where the pulse could be traced. Byakuya felt somehow overjoyed, light-hearted and relieved, his instinct telling him to follow the path he had entered. Nipping at Renji's shoulders and chest, Byakuya's lips involuntarily went along tattoo lines, slowly reaching the muscular abdomen and hard, almost fully erected penis. Gently, almost reluctantly, he unfolded the silky, fragile glands from the foreskin, stroking the delicate, thin strip of the skin, provocatively licking it afterwards and watching the colour of the glands change... He felt Renji's hand clench on his shoulder, the other running down his back, scratching, bruising the porcelain skin with sharp, hard nails.

It had been a momentarily made decision – there was no turning back, no place for hesitation, for doubt or shame... Byakuya knelt, bent his head, his back turned towards Renji, who, gave a surprised, wordless cry.

"Is that what ye want, _taichou_...?" He whispered, voice hoarse, barley audible.

"Come, Renji..." Byakuya murmured. "Just... do it, Renji. Don't ask questions... Come to me..."

Renji did as he was told, both overwhelmed and enthralled by his lover's directness. First slowly, then faster, touching, changing rhythm and speed, teasing and caressing, the redhead sent his beloved over the edge, making him loose control utterly, his breath shallow, irregular... The whole world exploded... or so it seemed.

_**A little death**_

_**Without mourning**_

_**No call**_

_**And no warning**_

_**Baby...a dangerous idea**_

_**That almost makes sense**_

"I luv ye so much, _taichou_... You're so beautiful, my black-haired angel of death!" Renji exclaimed, burying his hands in black strands, kissing the shapely, pale neck in a passionate caress. "I luv ye, always have..." And then he came, screaming Byakuya's name, an extrovert, impatient, magenta coloured spark, emotional, willingly and wholeheartedly giving all that he had. Exposed, vulnerable his heart had been at this very moment...

_**I'm gonna run, I'm gonna try**_

_**I'm gonna take this love**_

_**Right to ya**_

_**All my heart, all the joy**_

_**Oh baby, baby please**_

Byakuya flew into this warmth and tenderness like a moth to the flame, feeling the sudden urge to melt, to literally become one with Renji and never go back to his so-valued solitude and independence... Abarai's arms were wrapped around him, he felt safe, he felt loved and accepted. So peaceful, so warm, so familiar...

Waking up in the morning was like loosing a beautiful dream: the remorse and sense of guilt overflew Byakuya's reason and hit him where it hurt, with all the power they've had. No amount of warmth radiating from sleeping Renji, not even the feeling of his arm wrapped protectively around Kuchiki's waist could beguile them. No joy was left, just plain disgust. Towards his own self. For being so silly to do the things he had done the previous night. But he felt loved...

'_No, this is wrong. There is no safety within love, it only maketh one vulnerable and weak! No emotion has the value equal to the value of law, of order, of duty and responsibility. If there had been no law, the whole world would have collapsed, broken into pieces, peace and life destroyed forever.' _

**_Don't talk of love,_**

**_But I've heard the words before;_**

**_It's sleeping in my memory._**

**_I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died._**

_**If I never loved I never would have cried.**_

_**I am a rock,**_

_**I am an island.**_

And so Byakuya got up from the futon, put his robes on and left Renji still sleeping among the white sheets. _It shall not happen again – I will keep my promise this time, I swear I will_.

Back to his old self again, he proceeds to follow the daily routine. The only disturbing fact is that he cannot look Renji in the eyes and has to set his sight on something else instead. But he can get used to that. The alternative is unacceptable, unthinkable. Cold, unemotional, reasonable, responsible – that is what he is like. Responsible, dutiful, distant. A very appropriate description, indeed. Renji seems startled at first, then he tries to brake his taichou's stoic façade, stubbornly and strenuously knocking on the closed door. Byakuya is unwilling to respond. However, why does he still experience pain deep inside his heart?

In the evening of sixth day Byakuya decided to go and ask captain Unohana for help. She asked him to take a seat and examined him carefully.

"Nothing seems to be wrong with your vascular system, Kuchiki-taichou. Your heart is in perfect condition as well. Therefore, I assume that it most likely a problem of a psychological nature. Would you care to tell me what is troubling you, Kuchiki-san?" the sapphire-eyed woman asked calmly.

"I think there is no reason why I should not... Being torn between duty and your own feelings may be destructive, Unohana-taichou. I don't know what to choose, what to do anymore..." Byakuya replied, looking at her with an enormous amount of sadness in his eyes.

"And what would you like to choose, Kuchiki-taichou? Is there anything you might need to make your choice easier?"

"To be honest, I would have been a relief to get rid of my nobility for a while, just to see how it is when one can make one's own choices..." Byakuya said, even more confused than at the beginning of conversation.

"One is always capable to do that, Kuchiki-taichou. If one has a strong heart, one can do anything one wants. You only have to let yourself think that way" Unohana replied, smiling faintly. "If you are in love with the person whose name I have in my mind currently, then trust that person, believe in what you have already built"

"Then, Unohana-san, do you think that we could be truly happy together?" Byakuya asked.

"Yes, I think you could" Unohana Retsu stated, embracing Zaraki Kenpachi, who had just entered the room and kissed her on the cheek.

* * *

Renji gave up hope. _It had been so naïve to think that anything would change: it was time for him to leave_.

* * *

"Have you seen Renji, Rukia? I have been looking all over for him and haven't found him yet... Not to mention there is no sign of his _reiatsu_ as well..." Byakuya asked his sister, the anxiety rapidly rising within his soul.

"I'm afraid not, _nii-sama_..." Rukia sighed. "I suppose he has left us. He had made his decision, _nii-sama_. I don't know why, but currently he's purposefully suppressing his _reiatsu_, hiding his energy. He doesn't want to be found, he doesn't want any of us looking for him... _Nii-sama_, did anything happen recently? Did Renji tell you that someone had wounded him or that he had done something inexcusable, unforgivable? Do you have any idea why he had left Zabimaru in Soul Society?"

Byakuya was speechless. He stood there, before his delicate-looking, little sister, a married, loving woman, the mother of his nephew - and just stared at her, feeling ashamed, small and stupid, and inexperienced. She seemed to know everything, and he... he was an old, ridiculous clown, pretending to be someone.

_**So you build that wall (build that wall)**_

_**Yes, you build that wall (build that wall)**_

_**And you make it stronger**_

**_But for now, we'll go on living separate lives_**

**_Yes for now, we'll go on living separate lives_**

_**Separate lives**_


	4. On My Own

**Author's Note:** _Yaoi_ - a bitter one. _British spelling and vocabulary, as usual_. Please, tell me whether you like this story or not – I'll be very grateful for some feedback, that is. Zabimaru's speech is underlined. **Mentioning the exclusive brands of clothing and the automotive industry was meant to create the necessary atmosphere, neither for profit, nor to display personal preferences of the author.**

**Characters:** Renji, Ichigo, Rukia, Byakuya, Zabimaru

**Summary:** Renji starts new life in the human world, while Byakuya makes his own choices. Not so obviously as in the previous chapters, but still _yaoi_, lots of bitterness with a small amount of warmth.

**Rating: **R (only mentions of Kuchiki x Abarai, nothing too straightforward or blatant)

**Disclaimer: **BLEACH is not mine. This story is just a fan fiction.

**Music:** "_If Only I Could Turn Back Time"_ Aqua; _Yes, I Know The Rule_ (_Wiem, zasadę znam_) DeSu (it's a Polish song, but I did my best to translate it into English – its melody is truly captivating)

**Word count:** 1785 (Oh crikey!)

**Motto: **_"As the storm-tossed ship founders and sinks, therefore, it must reach a depth where the water below it is just viscous enough to stop its fall" _– Terry Pratchett "**_Going Postal_**"

* * *

**ON MY OWN**

"Where is he? I want to talk to him!" Renji's katana emitted a red glow.

"I am sorry, Zabimaru, I wish I knew" Byakuya replied, his voice filled with sadness.

"Why have you made 'im leave? Why?!? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" An angry, desperate scream exploded within Kuchiki-taichou's mind.

Byakuya turned his face from the katana to hide the tears.

_**If only I could turn back time, **_

_**If only I had saved what I still had**_

* * *

****

Meanwhile, at the home of Ichigo and Rukia, Abarai Renji - devastated, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably - finished telling his friend the story of recent events.

"I'm sorry, Renji, but it doesn't make sense to me" Ichigo said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Why did you leave without even trying to find an explanation?" the orange-haired man handed Renji a blue porcelain mug.

"Everything went anti-clockwise, ye ken" Renji sipped his tea. "I couldnae stand it anymore, bein' always pushed away and rejected" Renji lowered his head and stared at the carpet, avoiding Ichigo's gaze.

"But I thought you loved him... I think you still do..." Ichigo put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Ah aye, but I disnae think that he should know about 'tis! Ichigo, I cannae believe I was so naive, so stupid! Should have left him while I still had time, definit'ly before _this_ happened! His _reiatsu_... Aww, never mind!" Renji replied quickly, his cheeks turning red.

"Rejection is a terrible experience... Ne, Rukia?" he said, addressing his wife, who had just entered the room, carrying their baby son in her arms.

"Yes, very bad and sad indeed. Renji, I'm sorry... If there's anything I can do for you..."

"Rukia, please stop apologising, it's nae yer fault, ye ken... B'sides, we'll be able to visit each other more often, right?" Renji tried to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"So you don't regret it in the end?" Rukia asked, taking a seat beside her husband. "Being with him, I mean..." she added, with consternation.

"O'course I disnae regret! And.. I still luv 'im... Jus' disnae ken whut to do anymore, I've run oot of the ideas! One minute he's willing, the other he's trying to kill me... Not necessarily with 'is sword, o' course! 'Tis like riding on a bloody merry-go-round, Ichigo, after some time ye are getting dizzy and the only thing ye can do is puke..." Renji rubbed his temples absentmindedly. "I'm not willing to bet me bollocks to a barn dance, ye see" he said, swallowing the rest of the contents of a mug.

"So what are you planning to do now?" Ichigo inquired, giving Renji a concerned look and a handkerchief. "You can't run and hide forever..."

"I'm not going to hide, I'll jus' stay here, in town, find myself a job and keep on living... I've officially resigned, so I'm free as a birdie, I can do what I please" Renji made a fruitless effort to smile, his expression switching almost instantly to gloom.

"But you have nowhere to live until you find yourself a flat, you dildo! What will you eat, where are you going to sleep? Stay here with us for a while, at least you won't be alone..."

"Sich a diamond geezer ye are, Ichigo... I'm the luckiest lad in the world to have a mate like ye" Renji's eyes were filled with tears.

"Can't let you become a dosser, right, Rukia?" Ichigo winked at his wife.

"Absolutely right, my darling" the brunette replied and kissed him on the cheek.

* * *

Three months have passed without much to speak of. Renji slowly, but surely crawled out from the worst stage of depression and finally started looking for a job. At first he tried teaching martial arts and swordsmanship, but he had no patience neither for beginners, nor for intermediate students. Furthermore, being a teacher, he could not earn enough money to pay the rent, and that irritated him strongly. Leafing through the pages of today's newspaper, Renji found the part with advertisements and started reading it carefully. The majority of the offers did not look worthwhile, save one, printed in italics, which caught his attention. He reached for his mobile and dialled the number.

In the afternoon Renji left the house, telling Rukia that he has an appointment to attend to and adding that it was an interview. She gave him a quick hug, wished him luck and went back to her work.

* * *

Renji followed the instructions given to him on the phone and easily found the place. Climbing the spiral-shaped stairs, he finally reached sixth floor and knocked on the office door. It opened and a middle-aged, white-haired man let Renji in.

"Welcome, Abarai-san. My name is Iwasake Tsunehiko. Please, come with me. Let me introduce Marco Stephens, our brilliant photographer" Iwasake-san pointed at the tall, brown-haired man with freckled complexion. "He'll take a few photos of you, alright?"

"Aye, o' course. Whut should I do, Stephens-san?" Renji felt somehow insecure in this room, filled with the old-fashioned furniture, wooden floor covered with patterned, thick carpet.

"Oh, nothing particularly complicated, Abarai-san" the photographer smiled reassuringly. "Take your leather jacket and a t-shirt off, please"

Renji did as he was told. The air in the room was warm, but it did not stop him from shivering.

"Very good, Abarai-san" said Marco. "Now, turn your head a little to the right, bend it slightly, establish your shoulders on your chest... Yes, that's right..."

"Thank you, Marco" Iwasake-san said, placing his palm on photographer's shoulders. "That shall be enough. Take your camera and leave us, please"

"_Hai, Iwasake-san"_ Stephens replied and left as quickly as possible.

The door closed quietly behind him.

"Now, Abarai-san, would you be so kind as to put your t-shirt and jacket back on?" Iwasake spoke in a calm voice.

Renji obeyed more than willingly. Then he took a seat, invited by the older man to do so.

"Whut 'tis all aboot, Iwasake-san? Have I done something wrong?" the redhead asked anxiously, not knowing whether to stay or run away.

"Oh no, nothing of the kind, Abarai-san!" Iwasake Tsunehiko's laugh was subtle and warm. "I simply have some other proposal for you, Abarai-san. But you have to know that it would be far more demanding... though much, much better paid. After a year or two you shall be completely independent, in other words: you'll make your own choices, you'll be working entirely on your own, I'll act merely as your barrister. Do you understand what I am talking about, Abarai-san?"

"A little, but 'tis all bubble and squeak to me, ye ken..." Renji locked his fingers and looked at the other man with blatant uneasiness.

"Alright, then let's move on to the details, but before we do, remember that you can always refuse. You don't have to accept my offer..."

"Whut do ye mean by that, Iwasake-san?" Renji asked, not only confused, but frightened too.

"Take it as read, Abarai-san" Iwasake Tsunehiko's voice and face were serious. "Now, first of all..."

* * *

"So, Kuchiki-taichou, I believe you should find another _fukutaichou_ to replace Abarai Renji..." Yamamoto Genryuusai gave Kuchiki Byakuya an inquiring look.

"With all due respect, Yamamoto so-taichou, I will not request for another _fukutaichou_." Byakuya replied quietly, bowing.

"Is that your final decision, Kuchiki-taichou? Have you considered all the consequences?" Yamamoto Genryuusai asked the younger man.

"Yes, I have considered them. I am prepared to leave, sir. Here is my demission, Yamamoto-so-taichou" Byakuya handed his superior a paper compound in four. "I shall return my captain's coat as well" he added. "May I have one request, sir?"

"I am listening" Yamamoto replied, clutching his wrinkled palms on his walking cane-disguised zanpaktou, Ryuuijn Jakka.

"With your permission, I would like to take Senbonsakura and Zabimaru with me"

"I suppose you may, Kuchiki-san" the old shinigami general said with a sigh.

Kuchiki Byakuya bowed, turned and left the office.

* * *

Ichigo was on his way home. It had been a very tiring day, plenty of documents to sign and an important project to complete. Yet another day in the office. Luckily, it was Friday evening, and that meant no work for whole two days.

Something, or rather someone for that matter, suddenly caught Ichigo's eye: a man with magenta red, long, evenly cut hair walked down the street, straight in Ichigo's direction.

The colour of his hair was unmistakably like Renji's. The man wore a perfectly tailored, Prussian blue three-piece suit, elegant shoes made of the finest leather, a stunningly white shirt and a wrist-watch which must have cost a fortune.

"Oh blow me! Izzut truly ye, Ichigo? Long time no see, mate!" the familiar voice rang in Kurosaki's ears.

"How long has it been? Three... No, four years since you've moved out! But Renji...you... you look so different... Your clothes, your hair! Do my eyes deceive me, or are you wearing a suit? What happened to jeans and leather jacket you used to like so much?"

"Me new job requires wearin' tailor-made silk or woollen suits and white shirts, ye ken..." Renji smiled, but it was an insincere smile, a crooked one.

"But Renji... I don't want to be impolite, but how can you afford such expensive clothes? This suit looks like an Armani to me... I have seen one of our business partners wearing one"

"It is an Armani, Ichigo" the answer came straightforward and simple. "And before ye ask, aye, these shoes are Prada, and the car parked here belongs to me. And aye, I truly earn that much money, but it's nae easy peasy lemon squeezy job as ye might think it is..."

"Renji, we've missed you so much! Since you've moved out you rang us only twice, told us that everything was alright and we never heard from you again! We thought that you have vanished off the face of the earth... Renji, have you forgotten your friends?" Ichigo demanded, his voice filled with despair. "Can you explain that to me?!?" he shouted, ignoring the people passing by.

"I'll always be yer mate, Ichigo... I'll be there, when ye need me, ye ken... Me life is a shambles, I disnae wantae to get ye involved in it too much"

"Are you in aggro, Renji? If so, please, tell us, we'll try to help you!" there was a deep frown on Ichigo's face.

_**Yes, I know the rule**_

**_With enemies you're dancing_**

**_Tears of your friends will dry_**

**_Eventually, you always say so_**

_**Yes, it is fear**_

_**Cold glances multiply**_

**_You are lonelier than ever_**

**_Please, stop hurting us_**

Ah nae! Ichigo, I must go now, but I'll ring ye, I promise!"

Renji waved his hand, turned on the heel and disappeared into the night, driving the black Lamborghini Gallardo.

He never meant to keep his word, knowing what would be best for his friends.

_Get used to living alone, Abarai Renji, because from now on, you'll be alone forever._

_And forever means eternity for an ex-shinigami. _

* * *

Explanatory notes

Aggro - trouble

Anti-clockwise – in AE: counter-clockwise

Barrister – a lawyer who can represent his client in court

Blow me – blow me down; used as an exclamation of surprise (typically British ;-))

Diamond geezer – a solid, reliable person

Dosser – a down-and-out, tramp

Dildo – a dipstick, divvy, dimwit

Puke – vomit, throw up

Shambles – chaos, mess

I'll ring ye – in AE: I'll call you

* * *

**Additional author's note: **If you have any suspicions about Renji's job, do not reveal them in your published reviews, I beg you! The fifth chapter is in progress, so please be patient! 


	5. Breaking the Glass

**Author's Note:** Fifth chapter, but not the last one. The final part of this story is already in progress. British spelling, vocabulary, idioms and grammar – The Explanatory Notes published and the end of chapter. Renji has to speak slang, so I made him sound like a Scotsman. All "spelling mistakes" made in Renji's speech are deliberate.

**Main Characters: **Byakuya; Renji; Zabimaru; Ichihana-san, _jimae-no geisha_

**Pairings:** Byakuya x Renji, implied Ichihana+Renji

**Summary: **Under the beautiful colouring a dirty truth lies. Byakuya, on the verge of decision of committing suicide, makes the most priceless discovery in his life.

**Rating: **R/NC-17, mildly graphic, no physical violence during sex, no rape etc. Bittersweet sex, shameless proclamation of "ownership" ;-)

**Genre:** Dramatics/Romance

**Disclaimer:** BLEACH does not belong to me. At all.

**Music:** _"Ghost Story" _Sting; _"Roxanne"_ The Police (yes, THAT song!)

**Dedication:** to all Byakuya x Renji fans

**Word count: **2624

**Motto:** _"They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man's mind wonderfully (...)"_ – Terry Pratchett **"Going Postal"**

**

* * *

**

**BREAKING THE GLASS**

_**(Sarugaku)**_

He woke up with the sensation of a blissful oblivion. Finally could he claim not remembering anything. He woke up painless, comfortably numb, his mind focused and conscious, sharp like a blade. Abarai Renji got his freedom back. He was independent, self-confident once again. Now he belonged to himself only. No bitterness, no regrets, no sadness, no remorse, just numbness and peace...

Today was the fifth anniversary. Just another fact. But it was time for a change as well. Renji took a small, silver photo frame from the mahogany desk standing beside the bedroom window and held it in his hands for a long while, studying the photograph. The beautiful, delicate face with steel grey, glittering eyes and straight, black eyebrows looked at him from behind the glass, the coldness and distance emanating from it as usual.

That photograph was the only precious thing he took with him before leaving Ichigo and Rukia's house. At first, he used to carry it everywhere he went, even during the meetings he kept in the inward pocket of his vest or underneath his dark green _some_, made of the finest, matte silk shantung.

For his tenth _go-shūgi_ he bought a silver frame incrusted with the mother-of-pearl. For many months it stood on the inner window sill – Renji had almost literally no furniture in his flat at first, deciding to rent something more spacious and in better condition rather than to live in a smaller, less prestigious place and buy himself a modern bed, a table and a chair to sit on. For half a year he slept on the futon, ate simple meals and saved all the money he didn't have to spend for rent, bills or food. Iwasake-san provided him everything necessary for the meetings and performances, and Renji was determined to pay his debt a soon as possible. _Tora-tora_ or _Janken_ game followed by a story of a wounded samurai and his daimyo (or a small fragment of the _Tied to the Stick_) three evenings a week, late night meetings in various places approximately four times a week. The former _fukutaichou_ of Gotei 13 now had three personalities: one day he was Mamoru, the other he had to become Iwao. Various clients who paid him pictures of the queen after he had 'satisfied' them, dear clothes bought in the posh boutiques, costly drinks and restaurant dinners, a new, black Lamborghini Gallardo – the car of his dreams... silk sheets and beautiful furniture... But during the nights he spent on his own futon or in his own bed, Renji was himself again and all he truly wished for was to disappear. Sometimes he cried himself to sleep, embracing the silver frame with Byakuya's photograph placed safely behind the diaphanous, brittle surface.

At one of the _ozashiki-asobi_ he met Ichihana, who was one of the _jikata_. The undeniable beauty of her face and graceful movements of her hands caught his attention almost immediately, but when it became obvious that she can play _nagauta_ as well as _kouta_, he decided to find the way to be introduced to her. Since that evening, he had always asked for her as the accompanist during his performances and never regretted that: she was an excellent musician and an intelligent, reliable person.

Renji even went as far as trying to make love to Ichihana: he liked her appearance and she was attracted to him.

They knew that a probability of anyone knowing about them was minor and so Renji kissed her, touched her soft, round breasts and caressed the porcelain skin... without any ecstasy, without desire burning inside his lonely heart.

Ichihana proved a gentle, considerate person, when, after few minutes of the fruitless attempts to imagine that Ichihana was Byakuya, Renji started crying, apologised to her and began repeatedly whispering words "I'm so sorry, my black-haired angel of death... I'm so sorry, me luv...", while staring into the emptiness.

It was that night when Renji told Ichihana the story of his one-sided affections towards the beautiful nobleman – though never mentioned his lover's name or their professional relations. Ichihana listened patiently, neither interjecting her opinions, nor denying Renji's feelings.

They have been friends ever since. Or rather: their relationship was as close to friendship as it could be.

She knew him very well, almost read him like a book. But Renji was determined to keep his secrets to himself. He did not tell his real name as well.

They've never crossed the lines again.

* * *

"You have changed, Mamoru-kun" Ichihana calmly stated, pouring the green tea from a black porcelain teapot. She handed Renji one of the bowls, her movements graceful and elegant.

Dressed in white and dark red coloured _some tsukesage _with long sleeves and a subtle pattern of the cherry tree branches and petals, she looked like a woman from Meji era – she reminded him of Ikumatsu. Renji found her porcelain complexion especially aesthetically pleasing: it was so perfect, that – the only one of many geishas he knew personally – she didn't have to apply make-up. Her black eyes glistened like two pieces of onyx, dark, mysterious and impenetrable. But never were they cold and repulsive like the eyes he used to know a long, long time ago. The steel grey, oh-so-beautiful eyes... He used to dream of them, and of the black, silky lashes as delicate as butterfly's wings, touching his cheeks, his temples, his eyelids... Whatever he did, he still remembered. "_Who am I trying to swindle... I still luv 'im, always have and always will... Sich a dipstick ye are, Abarai Renji – all ye dream of is to touch 'im again, to fall into his arms again, to curl at his feet like a faithful dog is supposed to..._" he thought, sipping his tea and watching world going by the window.

Suddenly, he felt Ichihana's intensive gaze on him.

"Aye, 'ndeed I have, Ichihana-san... And to prove it, I've brought ye something..." bowing deeply, handed her a small, black lacquer box.

Ichihana, eyes wide and fingers trembling, opened the box hurriedly. "_Hiki iwai!_" she whispered under her breath and dropped the box on the _tatami_, spilling its contains – a red, cooked rice and a small card covered with _kanji_. "Are you serious, Mamoru-kun? It is a very important decision, should not be made hastily..." she looked at him, surprised and somewhat indignant, black eyebrows knitted over her small, shapely nose.

"Ichihana-san, please read the note... I'm nae Mamoru any more... Paid me debt to Iwasake-san a long time agoo, ye ken. It's time for a change noo and I jus' wantae end this part of me life... Close the door behind me, leave and never come backe. As of noo, the sityeeation is nae guid, me livin' 'tis life withoot tomorrow, jus' borrowin' time to survive a little bit longer. Me real name is Abarai Renji"

"Alright, Abarai-kun... I understand... But your performances were a true delight to everyone's eyes! And you know so much about swordsmanship and martial arts, you told so many wonderful, vivid stories about adventure and magic... You were a brilliant entertainer and a faithful friend, I shall never forget your kindness and a story about children living on the dirty street of the dangerous district..."

"Aye, Ichihana-san... But whut I dinnae tell ye wuz that 'tis tale aboot them children is a story of me bloody life, ye ken. Crivens, I'm not used to posh parties, to _ozashiki-asobi_, to makin' small talk and minglin'... I'm nae pretender, Ichihana-san" Renji shook his head "B'sides, I used to be a swordsman. Ye ken, Ichihana-san, 'tis life of mine cannae be wuss than it already is – it can only get better"

"Then, Abarai-kun, I wish you the best on your new way – wherever your life leads you... I hope you'll find him – your lost love, I mean. I truly hope you do..."

"Ichihana-san, ye shouldnae say thingies like these... I miss 'im, miss 'im so terribly that it hurts, but prob'ly we won't meet ever agin..." Renji replied quickly, turning his head to hide a crimson blush spreading on his cheeks.

"All I can tell you is that there's always hope, Abarai-kun" Ichihana smiled faintly.

"Oh waily waily, here ye goes agin! How many times do I have to tell ye that I'm nae one of them bigjobs to receive goody gumdrops? If ye think otherwise, ye must be barmy! I'm an ordinary prostitute, nothin' more!" saying this, Renji got up and walked out of the room.

"I hope that the future proves you wrong, Abarai-kun" Ichihana's whisper followed Renji as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

"How may I help you, sire?" Iwasake Tsunehiko asked the tall, pale, raven-haired man sitting at the opposite side of the antique oaken desk.

"I have heard about your abilities to arrange a professional companionship for men who need such, Iwasake-san" Iwasake's interlocutor replied, giving him a cold, sharp look.

"Yes, yes, of course! Our customer's wish is our command, sire" Iwasake felt sudden dryness in his throat and his muscles tense. _'This man is a despotic and incredibly powerful individual'_ he thought. "Would you care to looks at some photographs of our best employees?"

"That would be suitable" the answer came short and simple.

Iwasake Tsunehiko handed his client an album filled with glossy, colourful photographs – portraits, nudes, poses...

Kuchiki heir leafed through the album, barely looking at the photographs. Then, suddenly, he became tense and anxious.

"Who... who is this man?" he asked, pointing at one of the pages, his voice barely audible.

Iwasake-san got up, came closer and took a look over his customer's shoulder.

"Oh, this is the best man you can find it the whole world, sire. But his hourly wage is a grand. Incredibly talented he is and, moreover, a brilliant storyteller – used to be the _taikomochi_. Wonderful, shapely body. His name is Iwao"

"Iwasake-san, please tell him to come tonight to my residence – here is the address, and here is one thousand pounds. Costs are insignificant – do whatever is necessary"

"Yes, sire"

* * *

After the nobleman left, Iwasake Tsunehiko picked up his mobile and dialled the number.

"Abarai-san, you have a meeting tonight"

* * *

Finding the residence was quite easy and Abarai, as the gate opened, drove into the courtyard and parked his Lamborghini Gallardo in front of the impressive looking building.

"Iwao-san? Please, come in" an elderly maid greeted Renji at the door "The master awaits you"

Renji followed her inside the house.

The lamps in the living room were turned off and only the fireplace gave some warm-coloured, dim light. Beside the table, face shadowed, a man wearing a black three-piece suit had been sitting. His hair was cut short, but a long, black fringe covered half of the man's face down to the shapely chin.

"Sit down, please"

"Can I pinch a fag, mate?" Renji asked, reaching for a silver cigarette box standing on the table and taking one cigarette out of it.

"Yes, if you wish" the other man answered the question absentmindedly.

Renji lit the cigarette up and inhaled deeply.

"Did Iwasake-san explain to you why I wished you to come?" the owner of the house asked in a deep, rich baritone voice.

"Iwasake-san dinnae have to say anythin'... I ken what ye need and ye ken how to make me give it to ye, mate..." Renji crushed the cigarette in the ashtray and got up. Approaching the raven-haired man from behind, he kissed the top of his head gently.

"What... are you... doing?"

"Hush yer gob, 'tis be fine, geezer... Ye like that?" a slight touch on the cheek. "I'll help ye reach the stars, mate" the magenta-haired man encircled the other's waist with his muscular arms, pulling him closer, kissing his neck delicately.

"I do not want you... to touch me!" the brunet freed himself from the other man's embrace. "I only wanted to talk to someone who... who resembled the one I lost a few years ago" the brunet squeezed his eyelids shut and two translucent, warm tears run down his pale cheek. That man's touches, his embrace... they felt like Renji's. The man himself resembled Renji in so many ways – he talked like him, moved like him, had the same hair colour – _'most probably artificial'_, Byakuya thought.

"Oh, dinnae fash yersel', mister. If ye wantae talk, 'tis awright with me. Whut izzut ye wantae talk aboot?" Renji sat down in an armchair upholstered with velvet. "Izzut why ye asked specific'ly for me, mate? 'Cause I resemble him?"

"Yes, you resemble him. Although it was not the only reason why I have arranged this meeting. First of all, I wanted company and a conversation" the raven-haired nobleman replied, trying to regain his calm and self-confidence. "To begin with, I have lost someone immensely important to me a long time ago..." Byakuya said, blushing slightly. "I lost the one I love due to my own mistakes... I have tried to look for him, but he seems to have vanished off the face of the earth – he is nowhere to be found. It has been five years since I last saw him... And all I wanted was to apologise to him for the pain I have caused him, for making him leave the place... the world he belonged to... Wanted to tell him that I still love him. And I wanted to give him this" the black-haired man reached somewhere behind him.

_**You were my compass star**_

_**You were my measure**_

_**You were a pirate's map**_

_**A buried treasure**_

Byakuya touched Zabimaru and in an instant he could feel someone waiting. _He could feel Renji waiting for Zabimaru, even if it had been a subconscious waiting..._ Renji? The zanpaktou slid out of his hand and began falling down to the floor...

Something awoke Renji's senses, the ones, seemingly, long forgotten and unused. There was energy in the air... _Reiatsu_! It hit Renji's mind abruptly, forcefully. What was even more frightening, that particular _reiastu_ felt painfully familiar... '_Someone who had been left behind... Someone who had been lonely, mistreated and...' _

"Renji! RENJI!" , two voices – one of the serpent and one of the baboon – shouted in perfect unison, momentarily reaching Renji's mind and heart.

The redhead reached out instinctively, somehow knowing what direction the _reiatsu_ was coming from. The hard, long object landed on the inner side of Renji's palm. The long fingers clutched on the cherry wood scabbard, the other hand automatically pulled the blade out of it. It was a well-remember rhythm, the habitual movement practised for many, many centuries passed.

Renji's _reiatsu_ emerged and rose suddenly, no longer hidden or tamed by the owner's will.

"My... Zabimaru..." he managed to utter, his voice hoarse. "How...? Bya... Byakuya?"

"Renji..." it was the only word the nobleman could say.

The world around them vanished within a second. Clinging onto one another, Byakuya and Renji pressed their lips in a mutual, passionate kiss, filled with sadness, overwhelming desire, despair and bittersweet happiness. Teeth clashing, hands everywhere, both men fell on the floor, taking clothes off hastily, their kisses hungry, eyes filled with tears and love... On the hard, wooden floor they made love slowly and tenderly, savouring each moment of it. They made love to one another without regrets, without hesitation... Both reaching the zenith of ecstasy in the same moment, declarations of love strong and sonorous.

Byakuya watched Renji sleeping peacefuly, the delicate smile enlightening the redhead's features. He lift him up and carefully, lovingly carried him to bed.

"**_Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light_**

_**Those days are over**_

_**You don't have to sell your body to the night**_

_**Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight**_

**_Walk the streets for money"_**

* * *

****

"Mine" Byakuya boldly stated, sliding a platinum ring with a square-cut onyx on Renji's finger. "Forever" he added, looking Renji straight in the eyes.

"**_I have to tell you just how I feel_**

_**I won't share you with another boy**_

_**I know my mind is made up**_

_**So put away your make up**_

**_Told you once I won't tell you again it's a bad way"_**

"Aye, yers till the bloody end of the world, my black-haired angel of death..." Renji replied and slid a golden ring with a glittering ruby on Byakuya's slender finger promptly afterwards.

_

* * *

_

_Explanatory notes_

_Sarugaku_ - literally meaning "monkey music", a Japanese traditional form of performing art that developed into the prototype of _Noh_ play

_Jimae-no geisha_ – a financially independent geisha

_Some tsukesage_ – a kimono sewn from a dyed piece of silk, appropriate for almost all official receptions, though it is less formal than _hōmongi_ (the latter, as far as I know, has richer patterns).

_Jikata_ – literally: a sitting person; a geisha who plays the _shamisen_ - music is her _gei_, her art

_Go-shūgi_ – a tip

Ikumatsu – a _Meji geisha_ from Gion (not Pontochō!); Ikumatsu was Kido Kōina's wife (see: _Geisha_ by Liza Dalby)

_Tora-tora_ (Tiger-tiger) - a popular game played at banquet between Maiko and Taikomochi across traditional folding screen by posing as any one of the three - a hunter, a tiger and an old woman - so that both can be seen by the guests.

_Janken_ – _Rock-paper-scissors_ game

_Tied to the Stick_ – a _Kyogen_ play (the Americans and Europeans would call it a slapstick comedy) about two servants and their master

_Hiki iwai_ – literally: pulling out; when a geisha decides to stop working as one, she is obliged to show her gratitude to everyone who had contributed to her success – that is the way of untying the ties that bound her with _karyūkai_ (literally: the world of flowers and willows; the geisha community). Enough said that Renji, by placing the **red **rice inside the box, stated that he does not want to come back to _karyūkai_ ever again.

Dear - expensive

Crivens – used here as a curse word

Posh – elegant, glamorous etc. (Well, we all know V.B. alias Posh Spice, don't we?)

Pictures of the Queen – paper money, notes (in America it would probably be 'pictures of the presidents')

Dipstick – idiot, stupid, dimwit

_Ozashiki-asobi_ – a banquet with maiko and geiko who's role is to provide entertainment

Goody gumdrops – in this context it means pleasure

Barmy- mad, foolish

Grand – one thousand pounds

Can I pinch a fag, mate? – may I have a cigarette, please:-D

* * *

According to the information I have found on the internet (specifically on Wikipedia and the sites about kimono), at first, geishas (the meaning of the word is: person of the arts) were all male, and the first female geisha was a courtesan named Kako**_. Hence Renji's profession in this fiction – he is a male geisha (taikomochi) and, secretly, a male yūjo_**. Bloody hell, what a wicked mind I have!

And one more thing: even the colours of Ichihana's obi and kimono and the pattern are meaningful: they are suitable for April. Ichihana is a geisha who knows how to be _iki_.


	6. Sansan Kudo

**Author's Note:** Sixth chapter, the last one. The subtitle is a paraphrase of the title of a beautiful, though infinitely sad, Chinese film starring Gong Li. Written in British English as usual.

**Main Characters/Pairings: **Byakuya x Renji, Ichigo x Rukia

**Summary: **_And they lived happily ever after..._ Well, ye ken – all that lovey-dovey rubbish, ehehehe... (I hate that frozen, stoic Byakuya's side) So cliché! blushes, dreadfully ashamed

**Rating: **R

**Genre: **Romance/General/Dramatics (jus' a wee little bittie)

**Music:** _"Inside Out"_ preformed by Phil Collins

**Disclaimer:** BLEACH does not belong to me. At all.

**Dedication:** to Naltariel and Maki-chan.

**Word count:** 1857

**Motto:** _"Sakura sakura-to/ Hitobito ga/ Ukaretamau wa/ Itsu-no koto?"_ (Kouta – a traditional, Japanese lyrical song – translation published in explanatory notes)

* * *

_**Sansan Kudo**_

(**_Light the red lanterns up_**)

On Saturday morning someone knocked on Kurosaki house door. Ichigo was feeding their younger child, little Masaki and accomplishing that task seemed somewhat difficult for a while: smart little lady refused to swallow the gruel and kept her lips sealed. Rukia, wiping the flour off her hands, opened the door quickly. She froze at the sight of the incomers.

"Who is it, dear?" Ichigo asked.

Rukia swallowed, shook her head and finally managed to answer her husband's question "It's nii-sama and... Renji!"

For indeed there they were, standing before her, holding hands, blushing fiercely and smiling shyly.

"I'm so glad you've found Renji, nii-sama", said Rukia, watching her dignified brother and her childhood friend sitting close to each other on the couch.

"I am glad as well" Byakuya sipped his tea and took Renji's palm in his.

"Aye, taichou found me and gave Zabimaru back tae me" the redhead smiled "But before that... me life wuz a shambles, not even worth mentioning"

"Let me remind you, Renji, that you are not supposed to call me 'taichou'. Call me 'Byakuya', if you please" the Kuchiki heir reprimanded him softly.

"More importantly, Renji, why didn't you ring us, even once??? We were fretting for you, not knowing where you were living or what were you doing! Why have you disappeared all of the sudden? Why, Renji?!? We are your friends, you should have trusted us!" cried Rukia, her fists clenched.

"I wuz livin' a life withoot tomorrow, ye ken" Renji said guiltily, his eyes dull "I wuz sellin' me body and me soul by the pound to everyun who could afford sich a high price for a one-night stand..."

"Hush, Renji, that's past. Let's concentrate on the present" Byakuya encircled Abarai's waist with his arm.

"Yes, Renji, I think that you should listen to my brother, just once" Rukia nodded, smiling reassuringly.

"I agree with Rukia, if anyone is interested in my opinion" Ichigo added, putting sleeping Masaki to her bed "Just don't you dare disappear again for such a long time, Renji. And one more thing, Byakuya: if I'll ever hear that you've hurt him again, I'll kick your aristocratic arse and there'll be no place in the world where you'd be able to hide from me and my _bankai_"

-------

"So, whut do we do noo, Byakuya?" Renji asked, sealing the last carton box, containing his clothes and other belongings, with adhesive tape. They have spent the whole morning packing Renji's suits, books and other things he decided either to give away or to take with him wherever he was to go. Surprisingly, the Kuchiki heir seemed to know a lot about packing: in fact, it occurred to Renji that his former taichou was extremely pedantic.

"I suppose we shall return to Seireitei, Renji" Byakuya said simply and seriously, taking a seat on Renji's bed, straitening the invisible wrinkles on his black woollen trousers.

"Aye, aye, Kuchiki-_taichou_!" Renji's soldier mannerism was back in its prime.

"RENJI!!! How many times do I have to tell you... You are not my subordinate any more. From this moment on, we are officially engaged" the nobleman frowned, his beautiful, steel-grey eyes looking at his red-haired companion with a silent reproach.

"But Byakuya! This cannae be! That's nae by the book!" Renji protested vigorously.

"Well, Renji, perhaps it is time to rewrite a few books, don't you think?" Byakuya smiled a teasing smile, so uncharacteristic of his usual self. "To be honest, I do not care for anyone's heart but yours, Renji. Moreover, to see it broken again would break my own as well. I shan't repeat myself. That is all"

Renji was startled at first. But, after a few seconds, he roared with deep, warm, genuine laughter of someone who had finally found happiness.

_**Now everybody keeps on telling me how to be**_

_**And everybody tells me do what they say**_

_**Oh I'll help myself it's up to me and no one else**_

_**But till I'm ready just keep out of my way**_

--------

Three nights later, two shadowy figures carrying some heavy baggage, slipped into Kuchiki manor through the kitchen door. Earlier that night, they have opened the Senkai gate, and, suppressing their reiatsu, switched to shunpo. The smaller one, conjuring the ghost light from his hand, wordlessly commanded the other to follow. They walked through the corridors and crept through the dining room carefully, cautious not to make a sound. Getting into bedroom with no trouble at all, they've placed two large backpacks and four medium-sized carton boxes on the floor, deciding to put them inside the closet in the morning.

"But Byakuya" Renji whispered under his breath "Whut if one of the servants will come 'ere at dawn and see us sleeping together?"

"Renji, I suppose the only thing we have to do to prevent it is to lock the door" Byakuya replied, taking his geta and tabi off. Then he opened the closet and got two indigo, bamboo-patterned yukata out of it. One he gave to Renji, the other he put on. Enjoying the delicate touch of a silken cloth, feeling comfortable in his own skin, Byakuya sat on the futon and pulled Renji into his lap. Still shaking in his nervousness, the redhead sighed, inhaling deeply the familiar scent of spice and sandalwood. _So familiar yet different_, he thought, touching Byakuya's porcelain skin, so silky and warm under his fingertips, realising that he was being literally wrapped in the cocoon of his lover's – no, his _fiancé's_ reiatsu.

"Byakuya, me luv, do ye ken why I left ye, back then?" he asked, fingers drawing the invisible patterns on the nobleman's torso.

The Kuchiki heir shook his head gently. "Because of my foolishness, I presume", he said, voice calm and almost as silent as a whisper.

"Nae, Byakuya" Renji kissed his beloved's palm and continued "Yer reiatsu stopped talking tae me, ye ken. Jus' as if ye told it tae belt up. I couldnae hear it speak anymore, nae single word"

"I am sorry, Renji, for being such an obnoxious coward" gentle lips brushed the top of Renji's head, Byakuya's embrace tightened.

"Dinnae ever say that agin, me luv – let bygones be bygones, like Rukia said" Renji stated, wrapping a black, silky strand around his finger "There're more important thingies for us to talk aboot"

"Indeed? And what are these?"

"You say that you want us to get married, right?" Renji looked at Byakuya questioningly.

"Yes. Are you having any doubts?" the nobleman replied, trying to hide the anxiety awakening within his heart.

"Oh nae, but whut do ye expect from our marriage? Whut do ye want it tae be like? How do ye expect me tae behave? Whut if ye would wake up one day and felt that ye wantae have children? I cannae give ye any – I'm a lad, after all, nae woman!" Renji's voice was filled with concern.

"Do you think that I would have betrayed you or left you just because I might want to have children?!? Or that I would be ashamed of you, of the one I love?!? _Never_. If I were to have children, I would rather go and ask Urahara Kisuke for help than leave you. I suppose he would come up with some idea to make it possible for us to have children, _our_ children – do you understand me, Renji? _Our children_. I want to have children _by you_, not by some noblewoman my clan would choose for me to marry"

"Aye, forgot aboot that barmy miracle-worker... Had he flapped his wings and I'm sure he would have flown!" Renji smiled broadly, relieved "How I admire ye, me luv.. Never would have thought of that"

"Someone has to get you out of the unnecessary trouble you persist in getting yourself into, my dearest Renji" Byakuya replied and added "Let us retire to bed. It has been a long, tiring day"

Soon they fell asleep, clinging onto one another, hearts at peace, beating in the same rhythm.

Soon everyone in Seireitei have learnt about their comeback and future plans. Renji's friends were surprised, but congratulated them any road. The clan members, on the other hand, were strongly against such, as they described it, unthinkable arrangements.

There had been whispers behind their backs, the vicious, angry words spoken with hate...

'_And Abarai had the audacity to come back to Seireitei!'_

'_What a disgrace to the family! If only the old master was alive...!'_

'_Yes, he would not allow such farce! Let alone he's a man, but his origin!'_

'_A dog howling to the moon, one might say'_

'_We are witnessing the angel's fall...'_

'_Someone has to stop Byakuya-sama! We've got to do something, gentlemen!'_

'_But who dares? That despicable mongrel had poisoned Byakuya-sama's reason with his lies and constant adulating!'_

'_Licks his feet and begs for scraps! No dignity at all'_

'_I cannot believe Byakuya-sama have let himself being conned into this!'_

'_Neither can I... This is utterly unacceptable! First that Hisana woman, now this dirty gutter rat!'_

Byakuya decided to do something about that. When he entered the room where the council of elders held its meeting, everyone turned. Byakuya answered their unspoken question, carefully choosing words.

"I have caused him immense pain, I have betrayed him when he needed me. Had I not the courage to mend what I broke, it wouldn't have been nobility, not honour, but plain hubris! And now you come here, demanding that I resigned, abandoned him once again. For clan's welfare, you want to shape me like an animal, to rob me and my beloved one of our destiny... Sad as it is, it's a disgrace as well. In the past, when most of you tried to stop me from marrying Hisana, I have not said a single word. But now I am not going to remain silent any longer" He watched their faces change, expressions of mixed disgust and surprise, sunk ocean-deep in despair.

"You speak highly of law and rules" Byakuya continued, unembarrassed and seemingly more self-confident than ever "and the reputation of our clan you place before the eyes of my conscience... However, what are the rules and law which allow killing the innocent and breaking the hearts of the ones who love us? I take no pride in shattering someone else's life" Byakuya said, strong and invincible leader again, as bold and proud as ever.

No one dared look him in the eyes.

_**Now everybody's got me running round, up and down**_

_**And here I am going out of my mind**_

**_But I won't lose sight of all the things I'm looking for_**

_**They're coming to me and I'm taking what's mine**_

-------

Within the Kuchiki heir's private chambers, a ceremony was being conducted, witnessed only by Ichigo and Rukia.

Three bowls of sake on the small table. Byakuya and Renji, wearing plain black kimono with five kamon each, were sitting face to face. The Kuchiki heir took three sips of sake from the first bowl, then gave it to Renji, who repeated his actions. After the third bowl had been put back on the table, Byakuya, looking Renji straight in the eyes, said the following words:

"You have given me everything: your love, your trust and freedom. I gave you nothing in return. Therefore, this is my humble gift for us both... _With my heart, my soul and with this ring I thee wed, Abarai Renji, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health. I shall stand by thy side and never make thee loose thy faith in us... Till death doth us part._

_**All of my life I've been searching and hanging on**_

_**Turning a corner, never know what I'd find**_

_**But now I'm back again like I never went away**_

_**Ooh let me in I'm through with wasting my time**_

* * *

EXPLANATORY NOTES

Sansan kudo – literally: three times three, nine times; it is a ritual during which the bond between two people is being created – between two geishas for example (one of them becomes onē-san of the other), but it's also a part of the wedding ceremony

Geta – a type of Japanese sandals, the most traditional version of which is made of wood. Wooden geta have a slightly tapered front heal, making the person lean forward with each step. Urahara Kisuke wears them.

Tabi – traditional Japanese socks (usually white) worn with geta sandals

Bamboo – in Japan it symbolises good luck and prosperity

Barmy – mad, crazy

Any road – anyway

Shambles – chaos, mess

Kamon – an equivalent of European crest

"_Sakura sakura-to/ Hitobito ga/ Ukaretamau wa/ Itsu-no koto?"_ – "Oh sakura, sakura, when people may enjoy the beauty of your blooming flowers?" (aye, lame translation)

* * *

**Additional Author's Note: **This is the last story I publish here. If you want to read more, visit my Live Journal page. 


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